So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
