So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
