the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
