Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
