White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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