East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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