hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
