we're blogging at a bar
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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