I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He shit in the fireplace
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
