he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
