They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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