Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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