The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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