Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
