He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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