Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
