we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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