Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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