he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
