She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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