It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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