I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
