You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
