Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
