You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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