trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
