I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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