and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize