I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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