dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
