I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
