So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
