my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
