would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
