I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
