The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
