u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
