Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
