Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
