Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
