carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
