he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
