am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
