Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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