I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
