It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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