I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
