That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
