i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
