perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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