Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
either way he was missing a nipple.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
